Keeping up with the Jones' (part II I think)

I've struggled with something for a long time. I've said people were wrong about it and criticized them for their decision. If you're one of those people, I'm sorry, the light just came on and I realized some things. Here's my struggle, and some of you no doubt have the same one, why can't we have what they have. This is in reference to one specific point, and that is housing. I will break this down into categories. I am not naming names though some of you will undoubtedly be indirectly pointed out, you'll know who you are. Most of my female friends are SAHMs, which will come into play in this. Most of us make approximately the same amount of money unless otherwise noted (you'll see why).

Category One: Good location Close to the office, crappy house

Henry and I and some of our friends fit into this category. We chose proximity to the office over a super nice, well finished house. The plan was deliberate since we didn't want to live with someone else's high end choices that we didn't really care for. You know, you looove the house except that one thing that  you're not sure what they were thinking. We had great aspirations to update/upgrade things, and we still do, but life gets in the way and you end up dealing with things that you don't really like because you don't have time or money to fix it. When you see a friend's house that is all nicely finished, you think to yourself, "man, I wish WE had that". This friend might live in another town, which will bring me to the next category. My opinion: He's happy with the 12 minute (24 minutes/day) commute, She's gotta look at a house she doesn't love 18 hours/day, but they get to spend extra time together. This category is great if both of you need to get out and about alot. Everything is close. If you don't need to get out much (like me) it makes little difference except in the evenings when everyone is tired and hungry and homework has to be done and dinner made, then it's nice to have an extra set of hands.

Category Two: Farther from the office, great house

I have friends who fit into this category. They live in a town a little farther away from the office than us, the commute gets a little sloooow at times, but they have a really nice house. They don't have to fix anything, and everything is pretty and nice if not new. They chose a nice house over proximity. My opinion: She's happy with a great house 18 hours/day, his drive is sometimes crummy at 25+ minutes/day one way (waaay more time if the weather in inclimate because people here don't know how to drive in rain much less snow), and they spend a little less time together. This is one category that I have been highly critical of. Now that the light has come on, I'm thinking this might not be such a bad idea. You get more for your money house wise if you're farther from the office, but does that really make up for less time together? I guess it depends on how crummy the traffic is. I've also said that you save on mortgages, but you pay the difference in auto upkeep and gas, and then there's that pesky time thing again. Anyway, given my current situation, I think I'd seriously consider this category if I had it to do all over again.

Category Three: Far from the office, house you may or may not love, but you do/have other things

I have friends that fit into this category as well. They live really far away by my close commuting standards, the traffic is awful, he gets home super late sometimes, sometimes the kids don't really see him, they aren't totally in love with their house, but they have alot of land, or they go on great vacations, or they send their kids to private schools, or they have some other thing that they are willing to sacrifice for. My opinion: He hates the drive, She hates the house, they spend little time together, but they have something that makes up for it? I still don't get this group. I can't think of anything that is worth both of us being unhappy with things 5-7 days/week. There may be something super awesome about that location that I'm semi unaware of, but still I will never fall into this category. Don't be mad if you're one of my peeps who falls into this group. I love you but I haven't totally figured you out yet,

Category Four: Close to the office, great house, but...

This was the last category that I came to realize. I have friends who fit into this category and I've been beating my head into the wall trying to figure out how they do it. As I said earlier, we all make somewhere near the same salary, so how is it that they can afford this? I know some of my friends do a different mortgage length than us and that could explain it, but then it hit me, the people who fit into this category BOTH work. She may or may not stay home with the kids, but she had a part to full time job. Like a something that makes money job, not just changing diapers and such. My opinion: He loves the commute, She loves the house, they spend alot of time together, but she has to work. This might work because the kids are in school/daycare, or maybe they're just self sufficient, or maybe she works in the evenings or on weekends, or whatever. The down side to this is that if she works outside the home and has to do it on alternating schedules from him so that all of her paycheck isn't spent on daycare, their time together gets squashed.

My point to all this is that I realized I don't/can't have it all right now because my situation is different. In a few years, I will have the opportunity to be like the ladies in group four and I can fix my crappy house, but until then, I just have to suck it up and do the best I can with what I've got.

~Kellie~