The Santa towel

I thought I'd be smooth and make some new hooded towels. I was going to make them to sell, but in all honesty I'd never be able to convince people that it's worth the price I'd have to charge. I suppose that if I practiced a little more things might be different since I just kinda made this up as I went. That seems to be a theme with me these days. Anyway, here's what I came up with. Admittedly it would need a few modifications if I were to actually sell them someday, but all in all I'm pretty happy with it.
 

It has cute little finger pockets to help her wrap the towel around her. :) The modification needed can be seen here, I'd need to put the hood on so that the bias tape was behind it and not in front of it like it is here. I'd probably need to serge that hood with red instead of white too. :-p

She likes it anyway, so we're good. ~Kellie~

Tonight's Clothes Shopping Adventure

I went shopping for a few clothing items and I just need to vent. I am sure that some of you will understand and have no doubt had at least one similar experience. For starters, I want to know why pants are so long. I think I've mentioned this before. I also want to know why I can't find a size 6 in "petite" which is a nice way of saying short. It seems that the short pants start at size 8. Just because you are small in the waist doesn't mean that you have legs like a stork, it can mean that you are just small in general. That leads me to another annoying thing, why do they put petite pants on the top rack? There should be a rule against that. I have found a brand of jeans that I like, they are relatively cheap, they come in different legs meaning boot cut, straight cut, etc., and they have a slight stretchiness about them without being like leggins or whatever. This helps when you are a mom with hips and a butt and have to bend or squat alot because as we all know, kids are short.
I also went shopping for bras. Now that I'm no longer nursing a baby, I don't need to wear nursing bras. I threw out all of my old bras when I started wearing nursing bras again because they were shot and it was a good excuse to toss them. I want to know why bras don't come in packs like underwear. Wouldn't that make sense? You'd get 5 pairs of underwear in one package and 5 bras in another. I think it's a conspiracy to make you stand in the bra isle looking like an idiot for as long as possible. I guess it give you the most mix and match ability? To that I say "Whatever", I'm in it for function, not to be pretty, sorry honey. I have a gripe about bras and society. I have a small middle, and small boobs. I am 100% ok with saying that. I do not need, nor do I want an underwire push up bra that makes me look like I've jacked my boobs up to my chin. I am secure in the fact that I do not wear a "D" cup, and honestly push up bras make me feel like I'm perching my boobs on a ledge and I have to pray that they don't fall out of the cup. I always feel like I should talk to my boobs like I'm talking a jumper off a building, "Don't jump, it's not worth it". I admit that I do like the slightest but of padding, but only as "nipple insurance" because while perky nipples might be hot in a wet t-shirt contest, it's not really something I want to sport in the grocery store.
In conclusion, I will say that I tried on 4 pairs of jeans and 4 bras and much to my surprise, they all fit great. I only purchased 3 of each because I didn't want to spend all of our money and give my husband a heart attack. I'll go back later and bra shop some more since 3 isn't gonna be enough. The selection of what I wanted was small and I got tired of looking through them praying for the correct size. I did see one brand that offered small, medium, and large, which I thought was genius. That being said, I only found one small. Ugh. I also got 2 pairs of "skinny jeans" which are loose enough to not look painted on, but tight enough not to be saggy and to easily fit into my tall boots. All in all it was a fabulous shopping trip which almost never happens, and I seriously thought about stopping to buy a lottery ticket on my way home, but I was tired and it was cold out, and I'm not sure that I'd have driven by any place that sold them on my way home. Too bad, tonight must have been my lucky night. ~Kellie~

Learning Tolerance

This post isn't about the level or amount of learning that I can do, it's about actually learning to be tolerant. I'm not very tolerant. I'm also not very patient and I sometimes lack a filter. There are probably a few other things that you could throw onto the list of things that I'm lacking in but for now we'll just move on.

As I said before, I'm not very tolerant but I'm learning to be with regard to certain things. Will I ever be tolerant of a kid with a smart mouth? Probably not. Will I ever be tolerant of people who break the rules again and again, or who don't put forth any effort into anything they do besides being lazy, or who just don't give a flip? I hope not, but there are other things that I'm learning to accept without getting bent out of shape over. I have a habit of thinking or assuming that because I'm reasonably good at something, others should want to learn how as well. This whole concept of being tolerant hit be the other day as I was shopping for crafting goodies with my bestie. I've mentioned before that I learn random things from her not only about crafting and such, but about being a good human. She doesn't try to teach me and I'm not a pet project (I don't think), but we are very similar in totally different ways. If you told us both to construct something you can be sure of a few things, 1. It would have to be pretty or have to do with fabric or she's not gonna be interested, 2. Our end results would probably be waay different from each other, and 3. If in the event that they looked similar, you can bet that we got there from totally different directions. So she was plotting a wreath for her holiday decorating and maybe she was nearly camping out on the floor in front of the accessories in order to get the perfect things for said wreath, but it was ok because she wasn't blocking the isle or anything. I do not have an eye for such things. I try, but it just kinda looks like a jumbled mess when I try. I'm not kidding, I'm crafty at certain things but you can bet that if I make a wreath or flower arrangement and it looks good, I just got lucky and couldn't recreate it again to save my life. I just watched in awe as her wreath came together and then it hit me. She wasn't berating me because I couldn't craft such a thing, and she wasn't instructing me on how to do it or telling me that I should watch u-tube videos until I was a master, she just did her thing. I quickly referenced earlier in the week when I went over and installed her washer and dryer because she didn't know how and her hubby was at work and they were both recovering from the crud. It was easy for me, but she had little idea how to do it and even less desire, and that's ok. If we all were good at the same things, no one would have a job because we'd just do it ourselves. I don't try to instruct her on construction-y things anymore because I have come to realize that she just isn't interested as a general rule, just like I'm not usually interested in knowing how to put together the perfect outfit or make a wreath. This is why we're a good team. It's ok to not know how and to not want to know how if you don't really need to know how. Today, I'm more tolerant of that. ~Kellie~

That sinking feeling

I'm pretty crafty, I admit that. Sometimes my projects are awesome and sometimes they flop. It's always weird when I have one that I think is sub par and other people look at it and say "I think it's great, what's wrong with it?" and I point out the flaws and they say "I wouldn't have known that unless you told me". I guess that's a good thing, but what if I send something out on my Etsy store and someone does notice a flaw and I look like an idiot? I try not to send out anything that I'm not happy with, but I'm probably harder on myself than I should be and I expect perfection and sometimes I have to say that it is probably fine and just let it go. I also get intimidated by other people's work. Sometimes I see things and I know that I can do better, maybe even with my eyes closed, but then I see other things and I think that I could never pull it off as well as they have. All of these things come into play because I'm trying to regroup with my Etsy store/ small business. I've made the same things over and over and I'm burned out. I've also made some random things that just don't float my boat enough to make over and over. The result is a somewhat patchy line of work that really isn't cohesive and certainly doesn't look great in a craft fair display. It makes me feel like a gypsy peddling goods on the side of the road, and I don't like it. I need to pick a few, as in like two or three, items that I sell. I'm willing to do different variations of those items, but I really feel that I need to pick a theme and stick with it. I've been researching items that I would consider making, and I get that sick feeling like mine would never be good enough. I'm not sure why, I have skills and I've made those things before, but I just don't know. I hate locking down to a set of things. I like the freedom of piddling, and making what I feel like making and not having to adhere to any rules, but if I do that I wind up in my current situation and that's just not good for business.
I'm having to admit that there are two very different markets when it comes to selling crafts. Make no mistake, the online market is much different than the craft fair market. Maybe I just think that because I am forced to look at other people's work when I'm at craft fairs. I don't really look at other finished items on purpose because I don't want to copy someone else. There in lies another problem that I'm pondering, and here it is. If lots of sewing/embroidery people are making a particular item, is it good or bad to make that item? In general I try to steer clear of trends, but I'm wondering if that's the right thing to do. If you go with the flow are you just another person flooding the market with a certain item, or if you stay away from it are you the loser who isn't keeping up with the trends? Maybe just because there are twenty people selling it in Atlanta, that doesn't mean that I can't/shouldn't be the go to person in Franklin, right? I dunno, I guess I'm just gonna sit here and drink my adult beverage and think about it. ~Kellie~

High Cotton

I chose that title because I did something today that makes me feel like I am grown up and sitting in high cotton. I replaced that stupid (spray painted- we were on a budget and it was pink!) tension shower rod in our master bath with one that is bolted to the wall. I threw those stupid plastic rings that hold the curtain on in the trash and put up new pretty metal hook ones. I also removed the plastic shower curtain liner thing and I'm just gonna use the pretty cotton one from now on. When we moved here 5 years ago, the bathroom was soooo ugly. I had to do alot of digging, but here's a pic of what it looked like when we moved in.

Things that you can't see in this pic:

• The tile that boarders the floor is almost pink
• The tile on the floor is sort of a dark beige
• The wallpaper has this grass like pattern on it (which honestly was the best wallpaper in the house)

Before I show you the after pic, I'll just say that we have painted the wallpaper because it was adhered directly to the drywall with no primer under it!!!! so we couldn't take it off and had no choice but to paint over it. We have also painted the vanity and trim, put up a made by me roman shade of sorts, and I spray painted the pinkish wall trim tile white because every shade of paint swatch that we held up next to it just looked like garbage. We've also replaced the toilet seat (we did that immediately when we moved in), and replaced the light in the center of the room. We just recently put up a new multi-level swivel towel bar. WOOT! So without further adieu, here's the pic today.

The bathroom still isn't fabulous by any means, but it has come a long way. I really want to repaint the trim and vanity again, probably white. I have the paint to do it , I just haven't made it that far yet. I also want to replace the "clown lights" over the vanity. Eventually I'd like to gut the bathroom and start over but that's a pipe dream for when the kids are gone or we win the lottery, but you have to play to win so, you know. Some of you will think that it's ridiculous that a shower rod makes me giddy, but it just means that we are getting to the point with the house that we can think about details and upgrades. The toilet paper holder and the towel holder by the sink are still the original brass fixtures that have been spray painted black. They are next to go because I think this brushed nickel is nice. After they are replaced, the faucet and vanity light fixture are in danger. Their days are numbered as I am sick of looking at them and all of the other sink faucets in the house have been replaced already. I'm not sure I've ever been to the details phase in any house of my own so this is a big step. I am seriously looking forward to a shower with the extra 5" of elbow room that the box promised due to the fact that this is one of those fancy curved rods. I'd better get it too or, oh hell who am I kidding, I'm just glad that it's up there. Oh, before I go I want to add that I may never want to drill into tile again. Ever. That junk is slick and you can't get the bit to bite in and it wanted to slide all over the place (yes I used tape) and it took seemingly forever to get the holes drilled, and even after they were in the stupid anchors didn't fit and I had to wallow the holes out to get the anchors to fit, oh for the love of crap I'm just glad the darned thing is up!!! My hubby so owes me for putting this up, it was a pain. Yep, today I feel a little more grown up and a little less poor. ~Kellie~

Trade-offs

I like dogs. I've had at least one dog at a time most of my life, There have been brief exceptions for one reason or another, but I always wind up with a dog again because I like dogs. They fill a void like nothing else. When Henry and I got together I was in a dog-less phase but he had a dog so it all worked out. When that dog died unexpectedly, we were all heart-broken. I had thought that when he was gone I would be finished with dogs because he was a drooly one and he was inside all the time so there was fur floating around. Honestly those were the only two things that I didn't like about the dog. Oh, he had gas alot so that makes three. Anyway, aside from those things he was awesome. He was super affectionate but not in an annoying way and he loved to cuddle. He'd hang out with you on the couch until he was so hot that he had to force himself to get down. We all loved that dog. About a year after he died I finally convinced Henry to get another one. We talked about the options and decided to get the same breed because it just sort of fit with out lifestyle. I've mentioned it before, but he was not the same at all. He kinda looked the same, but his personality was way different. He drooled less but shed more. He was really friendly, but sometimes overly so. He wanted to play, but usually at the wrong time for us. He ate crumbs off the floor, but more times than not he left a huge slime line that was slippery and we all slipped in it more than once. He drove us nuts, but we loved him. We finally admitted that we didn't have the time to give him the attention that he deserved and that it would be better for everyone if we found him another home. We found a great couple with another dog which was the perfect scenario for him. He has a good time but I'm kinda miserable about half the time when I think about him. I don't have to deal with all of the annoying thing like the fur and the drool and the barking, but when things are quiet and you just need something to love on he's not here. Nothing is as relaxing as rubbing a dog. I've tried petting the kids, but they don't like it. I'm still glad that we found him another home because it was better for him. I keep reminding myself of the negatives when I think about him. I do it to talk myself off the ledge and to try to stop feeling bad. I still feel like we failed him, mostly me because he was my idea to get and my idea to relocate. Just when I think I'm ok I see one like him or I find myself in a cuddly mood when the little kids are asleep and everyone else is gone. The house is free from fur and drool but there are so many crumbs. I remembered the first dog and how lonely I felt without him, and that helped me be thankful for the second dog, but everything is a trade-off and sometime you just have to choose which thing you're willing to deal with. ~Kellie~

Where do pandas come from?

Well, sometimes they just appear out of necessity. Here's the story (with little to no back story). Thursday afternoon we went costume shopping for the kids. Not quite last minute but whatever. The short version of the boys' costumes is that they decided to be soldiers so we just bought them some camouflage pants and a shirt that they can just keep on wearing to play in after Halloween. Winning! We also got them a few little accessories, that I had to spray paint flat black, but after that they were taken care of. Henry and I already had most of our costumes and just had to get some little things to finish them out. Pics of that coming soon, the party is tonight. Kinsley decided to be a princess. Again. She has a whole closet of attire to choose from so, done. I couldn't decide what the baby was going to be and I got an idea after we had already left Wal-Mart and I was gonna have to go back and blah blah blah because I'm not spending alot of money on a costume for an infant. I'm just too cheap and I didn't like any of them anyway. Friday morning I'm contemplating dragging the kids to the store to get stuff for his costume. I ask myself if I really want to do that, and if I do that will I be able to find what I want in the correct size, and will I be happy with the result, and will I end up just making something anyway since I probably won't find what I want, and the list goes on. I decide that I will take a peek in my stash to see if I have what I need. I'm pretty sure I do, but it's still hit and miss. I first look for a pattern, 3 to choose from, 1 of them is exactly what I need. Sweet. I know that I for sure have enough of one fabric that I need and I look for the other one. I'm gonna be short. DANG IT!! But wait, what's this, another box to check? SCORE crap tons of what I need. I'm gonna need a zipper. I check my box. A couple to choose from in the right color. Awesome, one of them is the length I need plus a little extra. Now this is the point where I start feeling like a crazy cat lady fabric hoarder. Who has this stuff?? I console myself by saying that sewing and such is my hobby and myjob and that it's ok to have random things hanging around. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. So here's his costume for this year.

I have to say that I only have a few hours in this including the searching and the pondering and the modifications that I had to make in order for the legs to be a different color and the hood not to have a huge point on the back. I also do not want any of you to become haters at this moment because "well aren't you just crafty". I repeat that sewing related things are my job and I do them all the time so this was super easy for me. I do admit that I was lazy and did not serge the seams but they are fleece so they won't ravel, and by the time I trim them a bit you won't notice anyway. Those of you who know Henry and I know that pandas hold a special place for us so this seemed totally fitting. The costume wasn't a long planned thing, it just sorta happened last minute but I think it's cool. I don't think it's too shabby for something I "just pulled together". I am proud of myself for how this turned out. Stay tuned for pics of everyone in their Halloween attire. ~Kellie~

Sneak Peeks and Revelations

I'm not going to have time today to do any office projects because I have too many work projects to do, but I thought I'd take a second and do a little sneak peak. I've been collecting a little eye candy for my office. First we did the faux bead board and that worked out so well that I thought I'd keep the vibe going. Now I'm the first to admit that "country charm" or "cottage-y" isn't usually the feel I gravitate for. Those who know me know of my dislike of burlap which seems to be the new poster child for all things country. I'm not going that far, though I am seriously considering ONE piece of visible burlap in my office ONLY because it has sewing machines on it. We'll see if I can hack that another day. For today though, here are a few sneak peaks of things that will go on said bead board wall.

I'm blaming too many episodes of American Pickers for my recent purchases. The knob thing will go near my desk and I'll hang my bag on it so that I don't keep losing it. The key is actually a knob, will become a hook as well. The brown-ish hooks are for my hoops and possibly other things. I love that it's a combination of hooks and a hinge.












I also got this desk organizer for Henry. I hope that he can find the bills easier now. I have to admit that I love that he has a real work space in the office area now. It doesn't feel weird or crammed in, it just works. :)














 OK, so those are my reveals, now time for the revelation. This is less about the doll (which I love and made yesterday for Colin) and more about the backdrop. I've been seeing people post these awesome pictures of their stuff and I'm just blown away sometimes. I mean who has this awesome stuff hanging around? I finally asked someone about it. I was expecting something crazy or hard or expensive. Nope, it's just scrap book paper. Now, granted it's probably not as fabulous as the real thing would be, but it's much better than lots of other things that could be lurking back there! It's also super easy to change it based on the item you're photographing. The knobs in picture one are also on paper. Who knew they had scrapbook paper that looked like that? Anyway, that's about all I've got for today. Later Taters! ~Kellie~

Craft Fairs vs. Toddlers & Tiaras

Many of you know that I attended a craft fair last Saturday, and some of you have asked how it went. Here's the break down of how things went.

• For starters, I have been out of the craft fair circuit for quite some time since I did no fairs last year because I was huge preggo with Henry. That being said, I have been looking at a page on facebook that is for craft fair displays and such and I felt ok about my set-up. 
• I had never attended this event so I didn't really know what to expect. 
• The event was outside and I didn't have a tent. Now I thought about buying one, but that's a big expense and I already had to shell out the money for tables and table cloths and a really cool display stand so I thought I'd chance it. This sort of worked out I guess. More on that later. 
• I really wasn't prepared with product for this craft fair. This year has been off on the whole creating thing due to said baby and trying to figure out my new normal. I spent the day before the show running the machine, enlisted the help of my fabulous hubby, and we worked until 11 p.m. that night. 
• I also somehow failed to tag things and/or make pricing signs. 

By now you can tell that things are not working in my favor. This is all my own fault, but still it's a cluster in the making. Henry can't go with me because he has to watch the kids, Joy is far far away, so I have to go alone. I get my directions, load up my car, and head out. The drive isn't bad, but I miss two turns and have to turn around. No biggie. I get there and start to set up. This is where I see the serious need for a tent. Everyone else has one. I feel a little like a gypsy. I look like a rookie. I am, but I don't wanna look like one. It's a small town, and everyone is saying hi to each other. Now I feel really alone. I get half way through setting up and the check-in people come by my spot. They can't find my application. Great. One of them remembers talking to me through email and I keep setting up. Now the weather starts to get a little windy, and it looks a little cloudier. I'm a little concerned due to this whole lack of a tent thing.
The booth/tent next to me is selling rugs, wooden signs, and some wreaths and such. That's nice, I won't be competing with them. Then the booth on the other side of me shows up. They had "requested the corner", which I didn't think was a big deal until they showed up. They apparently had a little boutique store in town and started unpacking their pretty striped tent and all their grids and such from the store. Then they roll out their wholesale purchased (likely made in China) stuff. It's super cute and I'm not really bothered by this. I admit that when you have custom made things next to commercial things it does make you feel like a schmuck sometimes, or at least it does me. I start wondering if my stuff is good enough and does it look like crap, and honestly lots of people gravitate to the big flashy booth and skip yours but anyway, I try to keep my chin up.
This is where the T&T comparison comes in from the title. In the past I have thought of craft fairs as sort of like glorified yard sales. People bring their creations and display them in a pleasing manner in an effort to sell them and make a little cash, nothing wrong with that. Friends, (and others) this is simply not the case anymore. It's no more like that than putting little girls in a pretty Sunday dress to take them to a pageant. Those days are GONE ! You have to have them in frilly dresses with petticoats and their hair all curled and make-up on them that makes them look like a twenty something girl going to a party. The same is true of craft fair booths/displays. Gone are the days of tables covered in sheets and handmade stuff spread out on them. I will add here that I feel a little bad about having machine embroidered items since they are not technically hand made. Anyway, you have to have fitted table cloths and grid walls and tents and shelving and sometimes lighting and rugs on the ground so that you appear to be a retail store that sprang up in the middle of a field! The owner of the store sounds like typical, how do I put this nicely, she sounds really southern and frou frou and a little snotty. She's talking to her partner's husband about how her "little hourly employee" is at the store working so that they can attend the fair, etc. Whatever. 
After we get all set up she comes over and looks at my pitiful booth. She's looking down and she should, I am so in over my head and totally out of place. She checks out my stuff and looks at my embroidered kitchen towels and makes the following statement, "Aww, are these your little crafty things? Those are cute." Now I'm not sure if she meant to sound like a condescending ass when she made that comment, but it bothered me for about .001 seconds. At first I was a little hurt by the fact that she thought I was so basic that I had to make things to sell at a craft fair. I really wanted to say "Those are cute items you have over there, did you get those wholesale to resell? That's some talent you have there, I tell you what!". I also wanted to say that I do what I do because I want to and because I'm creative and have skills and because my husband makes good money that allows me to stay at home with my children instead of sending them to some daycare while I pretend to be somebody at my store. I wanted to tell her that I have ten thousand dollars worth of equipment that is paid for in my home that I use to "be crafty". I wanted to say that I'm not in debt for any of my stuff, and I wanted to ask her if she could say the same. I know that makes me sound condescending and I'm not even sure if any of my assumptions are true, and we all know what they say about assuming. Like I said, these are the things that went through my mind in the moments after her comment, and they allowed me to not feel totally defeated.
Now the wind starts gusting. Lots of products from different booths start blowing around and people are clinging to their tents like squirrels to a bird feeder to keep them from toppling over. Great. Some of my stuff blows around and I go get it. This gusting and retrieving happened about 3 more times before I made the executive decision to pack it in. People had to lower their tents over their products to keep them from blowing away. You can't sell your stuff if it's in someone else's booth, or if you have to lower your tent over it to keep everything put. I tell the booths next to me that I'm just not that hard core and I'm packing it up. I'll spare you the drama of how I had to drive like 2 miles to get back to the booth that I parked 100 yards from due to one-way traffic since the show opened, and how I had to force myself to abide by the directions of some little ROTC boys and make that drive instead of just hauling across grass to avoid said drive. Anyway, I get back to my booth and start packing my stuff up. I drive a mini-van, and I have my shelving unit in one piece to avoid having to assemble and disassemble it at the show. This thing is big and takes up the entire back of my van with all of the back seats either removed or stowed, but it's lightweight and I can totally pick it up by myself. The snotty girl is watching this and says to her husband, "see, we need to think about getting a van so that I can haul my stuff to shows". Who's the schmuck now? mwahaha! He says something like he'd rather be hit by a car than drive a mini-van but he'll consider a big SUV. I'm not sure what they drove there, seems like it was a small suv or van, but I obviously don't remember. The show coordinators come over and apologize for me wanting to leave. I tell them that it's totally not their fault and that I was really not prepared for the show and I thank them for the opportunity. She says she'd love for me to come back next year and I promise to do so. She was so sweet. I tell her that I hope that weather improves and that they get lots of visitors. As I drive off in my van full of hastily packed cargo, I wave to the snotty corner booth people who are sitting huddled and cold from the wind in their chairs outside their tent lowered over their stuff and think "suckeeeer".
On the way home, warm in my car, I thought about what I learned that day. First off I will likely never do a show, any show, alone again. I will also cough up the money for a good tent with sides. I will be contacting my neighbor who used to do the staging for Kirkland's and get her to help me up my display game yet again, since obviously what I originally thought looked pretty good was not. I'm also not sad about the booth fee that I paid since it went to support those ROTC boys that I almost hit with my car. I'm a little sad that the weather sucked since the show had huge potential. Next year I'll probably take the whole family because I think there was something for everyone. They had giant inflatables to play on, a classic car show, a chili cook off, and for Pete's sake, there was a little petting zoo right across from my booth! I so wanted to pet the alpaca to soothe my soul after the defeat, but I was too disgusted and he'd have made my allergies flare up and I'd have had to drive home feeling like I had sand in my eyes. Next year I'm definitely requesting to be near the petting zoo again so that the littles will be mesmerized for hours. I might even request to be on a corner if I can get my act together. I called my mom and my bff from high school on the way home to tell them that I was a quitter but felt like a winner for not subjecting myself to that since I was ill prepared. They said "good call" and I drove home to be with my family. Yup, it was a pretty good day. ~Kellie~

Like the liiiight of the suuuun!!

So if you follow my blog you know that I have been having a rather interesting lighting situation in my office. I was going to install a new light to replace the ceiling fan with the broken light, and then after I took it down I realized that I couldn't turn it off and on independently because the light and switch are tied in with the light and switch in the boys's room. My dad is an electrician as is my uncle, let me start off with that. I know very little about electrical stuff. I mean I can replace a plug or a switch, or a light fixture, and I've even been known to install a little wiring to move a light from one place to another like I did with the stairway light, but this three-way switch stuff is beyond me. The short version of what happened to remedy this situation is that I called my dad, sent him some photos, got some information, and then decided to wait until he came for a visit hopefully around Thanksgiving so that he can just fix it. That being said, I realized that with the changing seasons it is darker than usual in here and especially so if it is gloomy and overcast like it was this morning. Yes, I have task lighting, and yes there are lights on the machines, but that only goes so far. So, I reinstalled the switches that I had taken apart and set about making the executive decision to install the new light anyway since the boys aren't in their room most of the time anyway, and when they are they like it dark like a cave so for the meantime I  will decide when the switch is off or on since my light can only be controlled with the switch. mwahahahaha! So here are some pictures, because everyone loooves pictures.

  Here is my sad, lonely, lightless ceiling with a few wires sticking out of the box.

 I wished to install this rather attractive track lighting.

 

Here are a few "suggested tools" that the box said I'd need.

Marching to the beat of my own drum, I chose to use these. 

The baby took a nap, and my lovely daughter assisted me by picking up screws when I dropped them. No, no, look where I'm pointing, it's down there. LOL! This only took like... 30 minutes?

As you can see, I have LOTS of light now. I mean it's like a shoe store up in here! I might not even need task lighting anymore. Ok, I will still need task lighting because I'm sure to stand in the way of the lights, and because these bad boys are really bright, and because they sadly put off heat which I don't like. I installed the included bulbs from the box, but I will be making a return trip to the store very soon to get some overpriced but much desired cfls. The light isn't really totally installed yet as I still have to anchor the ends of the arms, but I want to make sure that I like the locations before I go drilling and hammering anchors into the ceiling which will require a drill, a hammer (maybe) and an allen wrench. I just want to be clear that there will be additional tools needed later even though the allen wrench I think is the only one listed on the box. Anyway, installation went so well that I was able to do another project simultaneously and by the time it was to a point where I was needed, I was finished with the light. Drum roll please....

Tada! I made this set of coasters while I installed the light. Ok, ok, I didn't, the machine did, but whatever. I finished them when I was through. Now don't be a hater. Don't be all "well aren't you skilled and crafty!?!?!?!". I admit that I am a little bit of both and that today was one of those awesome days where I got really cool things done. Not only that, but something that needed to be done, and something for myself. I am proud of myself and that's all that matters. Today I am a winner! ~Kellie~

Flu shots

I have a friend that made a facebook post about the flu vaccine, and I started replying but thought it got kinda long for a facebook reply, but plenty short for a quick blog post, so here goes. I'm sure that there are people out there who seriously benefit from the flu vaccines. They probably really save lives, but in my opinion that's more for the "young and elderly" and the "at risk for some other reason"people. I have never gotten the vaccine, nor have my kids, and we have never been seriously ill from the flu. OK, I admit that there are about two days out of the year where every person in this house is near deathly ill, (sometimes all at once for the win!) but people get sick sometimes even with a normal immune system and vaccinations. My theory is that there are many many strains of the flu and though you get vaccinated for the "most popular one that year", it does not mean that you won't get another milder strain or some mutant strain that results from the popular strain's determination to live and make people miserable. My dad got the flu shot one year many years ago and was the sickest with the flu he'd ever been, and he's one that never gets sick. My mom got the flu shot last year and she still had a touch of the flu. I'm not a medical technologist like my sister, (really, she's the head of the lab in my home town) so I don't know what makes a cold different from the flu, but in my lame attempts to figure it out I have concluded that both are just one of those things that we as humans must endure. Other animals can get the flu, I just wanna point that out. That's how we wound up with this big rabbit cage when I was a kid and.... just go with me here, it really happened. Anyway, every year our pediatrician asks if we want the vaccines and we always say no and he just says ok. I'm pretty sure he thought my explanation that first year was stupid so he just says ok so that he doesn't have to hear my ridiculous conspiracy theory on it, and that's basically what it is. I don't judge people who get the flu shot, that's their choice and it might be the best choice for them and I support that, I'm just saying that I don't get the flu shot because I have this ridiculous theory. ~Kellie~

Friend or Faux?

Let me start off by saying that I know a few people that I consider friends, and a larger number that I consider fauxs. You know the ones, you are forced or expected to be friends with them due to association and not because you really like them. I mean you might really like them, but the real connection just isn't there. I think that in reality, we only really have one or two real friends  and lots of close or not so close acquaintances. I think that a really real friend is someone that you'd drop what you were doing to help, even if it was really inconvenient, far away, and late at night. If you had to hop a plane at 3 a.m., you'd do that if they needed you. I can only honestly think of one person that I'd do that for and that's Henry. I have a few other friends that I'd probably do that for if it was an emergency. Be honest, and you know who you are, would you hop a plane at 3.a.m. for me  if it weren't an emergency? If I was just bent out of shape upset for something other than a death or serious injury, would you come to console me or just talk it out over the phone and wait until morning before another phone call to make absolutely sure that I needed you there? Anyway, after now seeming like a complete ass to several of my friends... I feel the need clarify something here.

*Real Friend... You'd drop everything at any time to be with them no matter what. They are like family without actually being blood related. Honestly I have some family that I'm not even this close to.
*Really Close Friend... You'd help them out anytime depending on what it was, and even then you'd be super likely to just help them out anyway.
*Friend... You'd help them out if it was mostly convenient unless it was an emergency in which case you'd help them out at any time.
*Close Acquaintance... You'd help them out if it was convenient. 
*Acquaintance... You're pretty sure that they have people who fit into one of the above categories so you're not really worried about them.
I'm going to add another category here, and that is...
*Virtual Friend... You care about them from afar, you're concerned about them because they are human (at least you're pretty sure they are), you miss talking to them online, but you may or may not really know this person. If something happened in their life, you probably send an e-card (which might be more than you'd do for that acquaintance above).

Anyway  all of this comes about because I was making a little get together list via facebook, the creator of seriously faux friends, and I noticed that someone that I had previously been "friends" with was no longer a "friend". Now I have my assumptions about this and I almost messaged said person and asked wth, but then I realized that they weren't really a friend at all so why did I care. If I had messaged them, it would have only been to say "I just wanted you to know that I know" and then I'd have probably gotten into some discussion with them and we may or may not have ended up being "friends" again. I have to admit that I was a tiny bit stunned for a split second and then I was over it. I've had to resist the urge to send the above message a lot lately, mostly because of Henry's job change, but whatever.  I have to admit that I have one really close friend that I routinely leave out of "guest lists" because I talk to her so much I just assume that she knows what I'm thinking and she'll just show up anyway. Bahaha, if you're reading this really close friend, I hope you're laughing too.

I suppose that's all of my rant for this morning. I think I'm going to go prune my "friends" list again as I'm still feeling the need to simplify. Before long I'll just be living in a hut in the jungle with only possessions that I can carry on my back or in a rickshaw pulled by my children. ~Kellie~

  

We have a (mostly) finished wall in the office!

It's been a long time coming, but we finally  have a mostly finished wall in the office. It's not really what we originally intended to put up there, but whatever. It was immediate, cheap, clean, mostly pre-finished, and as my neighbor says "Nothing is ever more permanent than that which is meant to be temporary", so I chose something that was pretty while I was at it. :)

Here's what we started with this morning. Now you can see why I just wanted to put something up there. I mean I was thrilled just to have a real wall, but as progress goes it was time to move along. I started out by removing the plastic from the wall, the ceiling strip that held  the plastic up, and then I got to work removing all those staples (why did I put in so many staples?!). I also had to get out a handy little specialty saw and trim some of the shims at the top of the wall.

After all that, here's what I had, a clean, fresh, wall-o-studs. I'm going to add here that I haaaate popcorn ceilings. You may or may not be able to see the little section that is nearly popcorn free, that happened when we put the wall up, but when I took the plastic down little bits of that crap went everywhere. It was all I could do to restrain myself from stripping it all down. I'm pretty sure that that will happen in another month or so or in the spring at the very latest. Baby steps, baby steps. On a side note, see that stupid ceiling fan? Yeah, it's going tomorrow. The light broke and I've hated it since I installed it due to said crappy light.

So here's the wall all covered in some lovely faux beadboard. Now I wouldn't usually go for such a thing, but in our tiny little office and given the fact that it's only on one wall, I think it's cute. Yes I know that there is a huge gap at the top and bottom, and yes I see the crack where the panels meet (yes this is paneling) and yes I also see the little nail holes. The crack between the panels actually looks way worse than it is due to the fact that only the front of the panel is white so you see the brown edge. Baby steps, I'm just glad there is something there other than plastic.In due time I will get some putty and fill those holes and some trim to finish it off.

All in all, I don't think it's too shabby. Tomorrow I will replace that stupid ceiling fan with my sweet track lighting, and maybe if I feel particularly motivated, I will sneak off and get some trim to cover that gap at the top because it's gonna drive me nuts, I just know it. I might even start to putty, I dunno. I'm pretty sure that no matter what color I eventually paint the rest of the office (maybe a nice light green?) I'll leave the "beadboard" white because I think it looks better in that color. On a random side note, I also got to use the air nailer today and if I install trim tomorrow I will get to use it again. :) Thinking more on it, I'll probably just wait to add the trim because I need to add trim all the way around the room and I'm just not ready to do that yet. Just try not to look at it if you visit. :) ~Kellie~

Too early starts

At 6:45 this morning I finally made it out of bed to deal with the baby who had been crying since 6:30 when his daddy came into our room to get dressed for work. I have to admit that it's always nice to see him first thing in the morning, even if he is about to leave me with the remainder of this post. :-p So I stumble to the baby's room and feed him, that always makes us happy. We get to snuggle for a few minutes and both wake up a little, then comes the diaper change which is now a trick sometimes as he has become fascinated with the light switch near the changing table. He hasn't managed to turn it on yet and I'm thankful for that, I don't think either of us would be prepared for the shock of it. By the time I get his diaper changed, his sister is creeping into the room. She's cute in the mornings though being a creature of habit, if her routine requirements are not met within a timely manner they become demands.
I make it to the kitchen and realize that the boys have left their door open and are presumably playing a video game with some loud obnoxious music that I'm sure their father would approve of, but it drives me nuts. I close the door and move on. I get the baby set up with some food, get the girl set up with her routine things: her shows, a cup of milk, and this morning, her favorite breakfast food, gummies. Don't judge me, it's still super early and the milk at least is healthy. She still won't eat cereal and the number of things that I view as suitable for early morning that she doesn't turn her nose up at is slim. Anyway, my salvation this morning is a hot cup of yesterday's coffee, some smooth Etta James, and this blog. I can hear the boys making noises that sound like fighting Tasmanian devils through the wall. I really must finish my side soon to offer more of a noise barrier. I'm pretty sure that K is in the living room singing into a microphone, it's sort of garbled so I'm not 100%. I have to go to the grocery store today with at least 1/2 the kids, and I'm hoping that it's just too early for the sun and that it's not really gloomy like rain outside.
I'm moving on to another Etta song and pondering what we're going to eat the remainder of this week. I really want to stay home and work all day since I lost part of yesterday being domestic with cleaning and laundry and such. I still haven't folded it, fail. I remember as a kid I was always an early riser, I mean like before daylight. I was almost always in bed before 8 because I was just plum tuckered out. When I say kid, I mean jr. high/high school age. I'm pretty sure it continued into my mid twenties. I really don't think this dislike of abrupt early morning starts began until I hit 30. I used to think that mornings like this were a myth. At least when I was an early rising kid I was up and quietly out of the house so that my parents could enjoy the morning in peace. I came back in at a suitable hour when my mom would make breakfast and then I was out again until lunch. Obviously these were my Saturday and summer hours as I did go to school despite the fact that we lived on a farm. Maybe that's the problem with my kids, we live in a subdivision, we have cable, there's more than one of them... huh, I've never really thought about that until now.
Since it's been about 20 minutes of Etta and hot coffee, I think I am now ready to face part of my day. I'm still not ready to get out of my pajamas and leave the cave, don't rush me, I'll get there, eventually. ~Kellie~

Shedding

There's alot I could say here, but I'm gonna keep it short-ish. I've been thinking for a while about things that make me happy and things that don't. Recently I've given these things more thought than usual. For starters, we decided to relocate our dog. We didn't "get rid of him", because that would imply things that were not true. We felt that we weren't doing the best we could for him. When we got him we had 3 kids and life was easier. As he grew up, much to our surprise he was super playful. We were totally expecting him to just lay on the couch like our previous dog, but that wasn't his nature. There was nothing in the world wrong with him, it really wasn't him, it was us, so we decided that rather than tell him "no play" all the time we'd find him a home preferably with another dog that he'd get along with and humans that had time to throw his drooly ball over and over and over. We found a great couple with a French Bulldog named Murphy. They brought Murphy with them when they came to see Bromley and they instantly hit it off. Murphy wasn't afraid of him and Bromley really got a kick out of another dog. His new human mom sends me text pics and updates to let me know that he's ok, and we are free to visit him if we want to. I miss that dog every day and I feel like I failed him, but in the end I know that he's happy with humans to play with him and a doggy friend to hang out with.
Another major change came with Henry's job. It's a long story and I don't want to get into it, but he decided that it was time for an employment change. He's really happy with his new job even though it's twice the drive that his last one was. I don't think the drive bothers him but I don't care for it. Aside from that I like the new job too. It's a job. People go there to work. That's all.
I've also been giving some thought to little things that bug me. Like all those groups and pages I somehow got into on facebook and all those newsletters that come via email. I've been an unliking, unsubscribing, no thank you kind of fool today. I have more to do tomorrow. I don't need to be tempted by things I don't have time for. Speaking of that, I have suckered, my mom has graciously volunteered to help me finish a ton of projects that I have hanging around the office. I intend to take them to a craft fair that I have yet to apply to and sell the crap out of them. I hope I come home with empty boxes and a wad of cash.
All of these things are kinda like spring cleaning except it's fall. I fire up the pumpkin candle, which has no wic anymore so I'm left putting chunks of it into my warmer thingies, and purge away. Most of this purging is nothing personal, just time to lighten the load. I have my real friends, and enough ideas and projects to keep me busy for a long time. I don't need any more of either. That's not being mean, it's just how I feel. Keep it real! ~Kellie~

Keeping up with the Jones' (part II I think)

I've struggled with something for a long time. I've said people were wrong about it and criticized them for their decision. If you're one of those people, I'm sorry, the light just came on and I realized some things. Here's my struggle, and some of you no doubt have the same one, why can't we have what they have. This is in reference to one specific point, and that is housing. I will break this down into categories. I am not naming names though some of you will undoubtedly be indirectly pointed out, you'll know who you are. Most of my female friends are SAHMs, which will come into play in this. Most of us make approximately the same amount of money unless otherwise noted (you'll see why).

Category One: Good location Close to the office, crappy house

Henry and I and some of our friends fit into this category. We chose proximity to the office over a super nice, well finished house. The plan was deliberate since we didn't want to live with someone else's high end choices that we didn't really care for. You know, you looove the house except that one thing that  you're not sure what they were thinking. We had great aspirations to update/upgrade things, and we still do, but life gets in the way and you end up dealing with things that you don't really like because you don't have time or money to fix it. When you see a friend's house that is all nicely finished, you think to yourself, "man, I wish WE had that". This friend might live in another town, which will bring me to the next category. My opinion: He's happy with the 12 minute (24 minutes/day) commute, She's gotta look at a house she doesn't love 18 hours/day, but they get to spend extra time together. This category is great if both of you need to get out and about alot. Everything is close. If you don't need to get out much (like me) it makes little difference except in the evenings when everyone is tired and hungry and homework has to be done and dinner made, then it's nice to have an extra set of hands.

Category Two: Farther from the office, great house

I have friends who fit into this category. They live in a town a little farther away from the office than us, the commute gets a little sloooow at times, but they have a really nice house. They don't have to fix anything, and everything is pretty and nice if not new. They chose a nice house over proximity. My opinion: She's happy with a great house 18 hours/day, his drive is sometimes crummy at 25+ minutes/day one way (waaay more time if the weather in inclimate because people here don't know how to drive in rain much less snow), and they spend a little less time together. This is one category that I have been highly critical of. Now that the light has come on, I'm thinking this might not be such a bad idea. You get more for your money house wise if you're farther from the office, but does that really make up for less time together? I guess it depends on how crummy the traffic is. I've also said that you save on mortgages, but you pay the difference in auto upkeep and gas, and then there's that pesky time thing again. Anyway, given my current situation, I think I'd seriously consider this category if I had it to do all over again.

Category Three: Far from the office, house you may or may not love, but you do/have other things

I have friends that fit into this category as well. They live really far away by my close commuting standards, the traffic is awful, he gets home super late sometimes, sometimes the kids don't really see him, they aren't totally in love with their house, but they have alot of land, or they go on great vacations, or they send their kids to private schools, or they have some other thing that they are willing to sacrifice for. My opinion: He hates the drive, She hates the house, they spend little time together, but they have something that makes up for it? I still don't get this group. I can't think of anything that is worth both of us being unhappy with things 5-7 days/week. There may be something super awesome about that location that I'm semi unaware of, but still I will never fall into this category. Don't be mad if you're one of my peeps who falls into this group. I love you but I haven't totally figured you out yet,

Category Four: Close to the office, great house, but...

This was the last category that I came to realize. I have friends who fit into this category and I've been beating my head into the wall trying to figure out how they do it. As I said earlier, we all make somewhere near the same salary, so how is it that they can afford this? I know some of my friends do a different mortgage length than us and that could explain it, but then it hit me, the people who fit into this category BOTH work. She may or may not stay home with the kids, but she had a part to full time job. Like a something that makes money job, not just changing diapers and such. My opinion: He loves the commute, She loves the house, they spend alot of time together, but she has to work. This might work because the kids are in school/daycare, or maybe they're just self sufficient, or maybe she works in the evenings or on weekends, or whatever. The down side to this is that if she works outside the home and has to do it on alternating schedules from him so that all of her paycheck isn't spent on daycare, their time together gets squashed.

My point to all this is that I realized I don't/can't have it all right now because my situation is different. In a few years, I will have the opportunity to be like the ladies in group four and I can fix my crappy house, but until then, I just have to suck it up and do the best I can with what I've got.

~Kellie~

Boys Room Reveal

For all those who have been asking for pics of the boys room all finished, here it is. It's not perfect and we don't care, because we know that they will probably destroy it in some fashion at some point. They'll either knock a hole in a wall or draw on a wall or... I'm gonna stop speculating there as there is no telling what might happen in there. Boys are weird, and ours ain't misbehavin' but they are boys. Anyway, here's a little before so that you can appreciate the effort. Here's what they had when they moved down here.

 The view from the door. Dark is about all I can think of here.

 From the door to the right. Still dark, and you gotta love that kinds pinky beige-y paint.

Here is the piece de resistance, the "wall" that divided my room from their room.












You can see the construction phase of the reno here.

Anyway, after a weekend renovation turned into TWO WEEKS, here is what we have now.

 The view from the door. Yay, there's light!

The view from the door to the right.We'd buy them real furniture for their clothes, but they'd just color on it or put stickers on it or ruin it in some other way so we stick with the cheap plastic bins that they don't acknowledge enough to try to tear up. It's the same principle about cheap sunglasses vs expensive ones, you know, you pay alot of money for them and lose them the first day, but those .99 ones from a gas station, you can drive from Nashville to Reno with them on the top of your car, pick 'em up and put them on when you get there.

This is an interesting situation. They *had* a huge console tv that took up waay too much space so we gave it away. They now have a computer (which has been living in a pile in random places in the house for like a year). They will eventually get a t.v. that, while smaller, will be on the wall and up high enough that they can't sit with their faces plastered to the screen. The wires and such will be straightened out at some point, but for now, meh.

This is just to the left of the door when you walk in. By shifting the bed down to the other end, it feels a little more open when you walk in. It'll also keep them from peeking out the door from bed when we are up and they are not. Oh, by the way this is a real wall and it is painted a nice latte color. The trim is now white instead of whatever that other color was.






Let's recap so that you don't have to keep scrolling up and down.

 BEFORE

 AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER

BEFORE

AFTER!!!!!!

So there you have it, folks, the latest renovation at our house.

~Kellie~

Moving Mountains

Ok, so we're not really moving mountains over here, but we are building walls! A wall to be exact, and it feels like a mountain has been lifted off my shoulders. This new wall officially divides my office from the boys room and also makes our house a real 4 bedroom since they have 4 walls, a door, a closet, and a window. Helloooo added property value. Ok, maybe not but whatever! I'll take whatever I can get as long as it means not having them peeking over the wall to see what I'm doing, or hearing every word uttered over there, ooh ooh, and my favorite, I can work late at night or early in the morning and turn the light on without bothering them. It's not sound proof enough to run the machine, but I'm not sure that anything short of a bunker would do that and let's face it, I'm not really into working super early or super late when it involves sharp pointy things moving at a high rate of speed. The transformations are not complete, but here are some pics to get you guys up to speed.

Ok, so the pic on the left shows my temporary wall during construction/demolition/whatever you want to call it. It may actually be better than what was there before, just kidding! Most of the boys crap got crammed into my office, and a nice plastic sheet was screwed to the ceiling via a piece of scrap wood, and duct taped to the wall. Not our best plan with the duct tape, but it did what it was supposed to do and the wall has to be refinished anyway so... It was very important to keep dust and dirt and the like on the boys side of the wall and AWAY from my machines which were covered in their own little covers in addition to this massive plastic wall.
The photo on the right shows what we saw when we removed what we thought was the interior wall but as it turned out there was a wall within the wall. That explained alot as to why the crap we could rarely hit a stud in the wall, and why there were seemingly studs going side to side with huge spans between vertical studs. So let me break it down for you as to why we saw this. They poured a slab for the garage, and it had a rim around it. Think of a cookie sheet, that's kinda what they poured. Anyway, when they decided to convert said garage into living space they encountered the aforementioned rim. To get around having a weird rim inside the room, they framed a fake wall on top of it so that the rim was in the wall and the drywall went all the way to the floor like a normal wall. They did hide/get around the problem, and since the framing was just to hold the drywall up, they used the fastest, cheapest, crappiest way to do it. Now you know. This pic also shows the new header for the window going in.

So in these pics, we see daylight! YAY! On the left, we see that the window has been completely framed out, and the last of the siding is being removed. That's Henry on the outside and his dad on the inside who is accompanied by his trusty sidekick, Lexy. Oh the dog fur in my house after 3 days of TWO dogs inside. She's a super sweetie, so I don't mind. All the excitement actually wore Bromley out and he had to take a day long nap to recover. YESSSSS!!
So the pic on the right shows the window installed. The boys have a nice view of the side of our neighbor's house. I asked them about this and they said they didn't mind since they have no windows on that side anyway. A few of my plants were smashed flat during all this, but the are resilient and will bounce back or come back up next year so whatever. It's a small price to pay for progress like this. And speaking of progress...

 The boys have THIS!! 

 I, on the other hand, have THIS, but I'm ok with it. One disaster at a time and this was always part of the plan. We will have to have their room finished so that all of their stuff (which is scattered all over the house) can be moved back into their room so that MY stuff can all be moved out so that the room can be made into a disaster area. The ceiling will have to be scraped, some wallpaper border removed, and of course, the wall will have to be covered. Even in its current state, it's much better than THIS, which is what I had before.

Hey, speaking of this, does anyone need any bifold closet doors?
~Kellie~

How Kellie got her groove back, sorta

So I was having serious issues adjusting to life with 4. This last one really blew me away from norm way more than I thought it would. Maybe I'm just old and set in my ways, but I'm choosing to believe that I had a good rhythm going and he just completely disrupted it. It's ok, I wasn't mad or sad about it because I expected it, but I had to find a new normal before I lost what sanity I had left. The first month was all cute and new, then by month two I had sort of gotten into a rhythm but it was not at all the one I really wanted or needed. I started looking at why I felt so hopeless (I was seriously starting to wonder if I had PPD) to really get an idea of what I needed to do. The things that were bothering me were: 1. lack of sleep, 2. the detailed house work was not getting done. 3. I felt like Henry was having to pick up all of my slack- enter deep guilt, 4. I felt like I was Mama all the time since the baby was eating all the time and his nap schedule and Kinsley's were not jiving at all which leads me to 5. I didn't have a "work" time. 6. I felt like I didn't spend time with the kids other than to care for their needs. This was all made worse by the fact that I felt so overwhelmed that I just sat around pondering how much I felt like I sucked all the time. I determined that I felt like I was in a tornado, and just when I got to the bottom I was picked back up and returned to the swirling hopelessness of the ride down. This just couldn't go on. It was a vicious cycle and I'm a control freak and I had to get out of it.
Here's what I did to flip things around in one week. Now mind you, things are not all "fixed", but it's a serious start. 1. I decided that I wasn't going to feel like crap anymore and that I was bigger and better than mental chaos. Things are rarely as bad as they seem. 2. I implemented the "everybody cleans" routine (previous post). Housework issue solved. I no longer worry about housework. Henry and I pick up during the week, but we don't worry about cleaning because there is a set time for that. 3. I decided that the baby was old enough to start sleep training. His night time feedings were becoming habitual snacks and let's face it, he's over 12 pounds so it's not like he's a newborn. I turned the monitor off at night and went to sleep. His room is right across the hall, so if he cried very loud or very long, Henry or I would hear him, he's only ten steps away. This is not to say that I didn't wake up several times the first few nights and flip on the monitor to see if he was still asleep, but after a few nights, I was over that. Sleep deprivation solved. I don't know if he's sleeping through the night, but I am. Since I was able to function better and the housework was getting done, problem 3 solved itself. Problems 5 & 6 have the same solution. Since the scheduled housework seemed to make me feel a ton better, I didn't see why this scheduled time thing couldn't work for the other issues I had. I decided that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I would try to work, and Tuesday and Thursday I would not do any work unless both kids were asleep and I just wanted to. I see some of you saying "you should flip that schedule, your kids are more important". I invite you to see things from my perspective on this. On Tuesday and Thursday, I can choose to do zero work, just walk away and not do it. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I do not get to walk away from the kids. They are still here, so I only get to work about half that time because they still need to be fed and changed and played with. I figure it really works out to 2.5 days each and I'm ok with that, it's better than lots of alternatives. I still have not solved problem 4, the nap thing will take more time but I think I have a plan to start easing it toward the direction I need it to be in. Since the other things are better this is much easier to deal with. So that is how I'm dealing with life with 4. It might not work forever, but it's working for now and I feel like a normal functioning human and more like myself which was my goal. ~Kellie~